Responding to Haters- A Dignified Way

 

Allah grants greater honor to those who demonstrate humility. One’s ultimate challenge in showcasing humility and honor will arise when he comes across individuals who lack these qualities entirely.  Imam al-Ghazali (RA) stated that “The ultimate examination of "husn al-khuluq" or good character, lies in how an individual interacts with those possessing "suu' al-khuluq" or bad character”. It is in these situations where one's negative traits, such as arrogance, pride and flaws of the heart and tongue gets revealed through their actions towards such individuals.

     Consider the following incident involving the Prophet (Pbuh) and Abu Bakr (RA). While sitting together, a man began to hurl insults at both the Prophet (Pbuh) and Abu Bakr (RA).. In response, the Prophet (Pbuh) remained patient and did not engage with the insults in any way. However, Abu Bakr (RA), who loved the Prophet (Pbuh) more than himself, eventually spoke up in defense. As a result, the Prophet (Pbuh) got up and left the scene, causing Abu Bakr (RA) to fear that he had offended the Prophet (Pbuh). After approaching the Prophet (Pbuh) to inquire about his behavior, the Prophet (Pbuh) revealed that an angel had been responding to the insults before Abu Bakr (RA) intervened. But once Abu Bakr (RA) responded, a devil had taken the place of the angel. Thus, the Prophet (Pbuh) did not want to remain in the presence of the devil, prompting him to leave.

   This depicts that Allah sent a specific angel to respond to insults aimed at the Prophet (Pbuh) and Abu Bakr (RA). However, as soon as Abu Bakr (RA) responded, the angel left and a shaytan took its place, inciting further insults. The Prophet (Pbuh) thus emphasized that true strength lies not in overcoming others, but in controlling oneself, even in moments of anger or rage. By doing so, one prevents the shaytan from taking control and causing one to say things out of pride or emotion that one would not otherwise say. Ibn al-Qayyim (RA) said something very powerful: "Not only do you cause the shaytan to miss you with his arrows, but you also cause him to waste arrows." It further highlights that importance of self-control which helps one to stay in the company of the angels and avoid the traps of the shaytan. Responding negatively to insults only lowers one’s dignity.

     When one does not react badly to someone with a bad character, he is causing the devil to lose hope in being able to manipulate him. Thus, the angels then elevate his status in the sight of Allah. When Wahb ibn Munabbih (RA) informed the Prophet (Pbuh) of what someone had said about him, the Prophet (Pbuh) asked why the devil couldn't find someone else to deliver his message. This depicts that one doesn’t need to act as a messenger for the devil, one need to trust Allah, and have faith in His protection. Allah will defend him and send angels to support him. Those who remain dignified are thus honored by Allah.