Skip to main content

The choice lying between the stimulus and response determines one’s Growth


 Islam is a comprehensive, intelligent and practical life system where one finds an equal respect towards all components of a human being. Islam regulates these components very beautifully to their full potential, rather than suppressing them or setting them completely uncontrolled.

In all Islamic teachings, the emotions are given their place of importance as fundamental elements of the human soul. One experience emotions constantly in his daily life in relation to events and people and the emotional interaction remains inevitable in this human life.  Actually, Islam recognizes and respects the whole range of human emotions.  People are not denied being “human” and having their weak moments. They are allowed to experience all sorts of feelings, both good and bad, because it is unavoidable and part of the human experience. What Islam regulates is emotional balance and instructs its followers to make a serious effort to keep the composure. When one is emotionally balanced, his emotional intelligence becomes visible. He can then identify, use, understand and regulate his emotions wisely.

    Islam teaches moderation in everything, aiming to create equilibrium so that one is always at peace with one’s own self, the universe, and Allah. One must avoid extremes in negative or positive emotions, as any extremes are destructive if left uncontrolled. Whenever one gets emotional, one should practice pause; when one is angry he should pause, when one is stressed, he should pause and when he pauses he should pray. Practicing this will allow him to respond in a way that Allah loves. The true losers in life, are not those who try and fail, but those who fail to try. So those who try this, are never the losers.

     Those who can learn to identify, express, and harness their feelings, even the most challenging ones, only they can use those emotions to help create positive, satisfying lives. As this is a kind of intelligence that enables one to sense, understand, and effectively apply the power and acumen of emotions as a source of human energy, information, connection, and influence.

       Positive emotions such as love,hope, enthusiasm, determination are strongly encouraged in the Quran and teachings of the Prophet (Pbuh), as they result in a positive attitude for the man at home, in public, and in relation to the rest of the world and all creations. Negative emotions like anger, depression, hate, envy are strongly discouraged. A man thus is advised to practice strict control over those destructive emotions, and to repent if he influenced deeds or attitudes upon others. To do so, one is expected to maintain strong ties with Allah, and to draw strength and support from Him at all times. If one believes there is an All-Wise, All-Knowing Allah, running the universe and that everything happens for a good reason within a wise and just master plan, then despair or envy or sadness could be dealt with in healthy ways.  

man should know how to take the negative energy of destructive emotions and use it as steam to move forward in a positive direction, thus turning it into positive energy. The same applies to the energy of excess positive emotions. Instead of becoming euphoric or hysterical, one should re-channel this energy to use it for something constructive, rather than let it go to waste.

    Since no one can isolate himself emotionally, therefore Islam offers practical prescriptions for emotional interaction. It instructs to control the tongues and physical power when sad or angry. It teaches that the emotional reaction must be in a dignified and respectable way. The Prophet cried in sadness when he lost a son, yet refused to let people believe that the sun eclipsed because of his sadness. It means that no matter how frustrating or boring or constraining or painful or oppressive one's experience may be, one should always choose how to respond.

       One should not let emotions take control of his actions. Instead, one should take control of his emotions. There is no excuse for causing hurt or destruction because one got “carried away” by emotions. There are no softer penalties for these irresponsible actions in Islam. Since these destructive actions resulting from negative emotions can only create a vicious circle of more negativity and destruction, disturbing the balance of Allah’s peaceful universe. 

      In the Islamic code of conduct, the emotional intelligence is of prime importance. The modern research has also proved that it is an acquired skill which could be learnt and practiced by almost anyone, and such a skill is a true measure of success in practical life. One’s emotional intelligence guides both his thoughts and actions and determines how his day and ultimately his life will go. When one comes to know how to face his failures and he starts learning from them, ultimately reaches a point where he gets to the core of success. But if one’s emotional abilities aren't in hand, if he doesn’t have self-awareness, if he is not able to manage his distressing emotions, if he can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart he is, he is not going to get very far.     So it’s very important to realize that how a man chooses to respond in every situation that life throws at him, either makes him a master to his own self or declares him a slave.  As between a stimulus and a response, there is a space. In that space lies one’s freedom and power to choose his own response. If he chooses to respond wisely, he is bound to rise and grow. This response is what will guarantee him growth, freedom and empower him to become a master of himself.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

WHEN JUST LOOKING AT THE THINGS MAY NOT BE ENOUGH BUT ACTUALLY HOW ONE WILL PONDER UPON THEM, WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE- SURAH AL-MURSALAT-77 (PART-II)

  The man is reminded to reflect upon the favors of Allah. If the man just looks at his own creation, he will simply recognize His lord. “Did We not create you out of a humble fluid” (Quran 77:20). “which We then let remain in (the womb's) firm keeping” (Quran 77:21). “for a term pre-ordained?” (Quran 77: 22). Mankind is reminded of a time when it was weak and despised and Allah placed it in a safe place – the mother’s womb. Neither can a harmful thing enter it nor can it be seen from the outside. It stays there and is nourished for a determined time. Only Allah knows when is the right time for the baby to enter this world. “Thus have We determined (the nature of man's creation): and excellent indeed is Our power to determine (what is to be)!” (Quran 77:23). Here is a reminder that man’s position in comparison to Allah’s power is weak. The process of man's coming into being clearly point to God's creative activity and, hence, to His existence. Consequently, lack of g...

The Miracles of Prophet Muhammad (Pbuh)

  The Quran's revelation upon the Prophet (Pbuh) was an awe-inspiring and magnificent miracle that remains just as wondrous and glorious today as it did back then, rendering it a timeless wonder. Besides Quran miraculous revelation,   there were other miracles that occurred while in the Prophet's presence, and they had a profound impact on those who witnessed them. Two categories of miracles that were witnessed regularly were those involving trees and stones that would greet him, demonstrating nature's attachment to him. The Prophet (Pbuh) taught that the student of knowledge has everyone and everything making dua'a for them, including animals, fish in the sea, and the environment, as they benefit everything around them. Since the Prophet (Pbuh) received knowledge directly from the heavens, he was the most blessed among those who were given knowledge. .         Before receiving revelation, the Prophet (Pbuh) experienced miracles, such as tr...

THE WILL OF ALLAH PREVAILS IN SHAPING THE DESTINY OF MAN, LETTING THE LIGHT OF GUIDANCE SHINE IN A HEART TO MAKE IT PERCEIVE THE DIVINE REALITY (SURAH INSAN-76 Part-I)

       This surah reminds the man of his true position in the world. If one recognizes this true place and embraces the attitude of gratefulness, one will surely meet a good end. But if one fails in this, a difficult end will embrace him. This surah begins by reminding man of his humble beginning, referring to his time of conception, when he was nothing. “HAS THERE (not) been an endless span of time before man (appeared - a time) when he was not yet a thing to be thought of?” (Quran 76:1). It is He who got him created from a drop of sperm that gets intermingled with the female ovum and gave him all the faculties that would have been his requirement while his stay in this limited world.   “Verily, it is We who have created man out of a drop of sperm intermingled, so that We might try him (in his later life): and therefore We made him a being endowed with hearing and sight” (Quran 76:2). How man gets developed, shaped and becomes grown up is nothing to hi...